I woke up this morning dreaming of an amazing vacation in Cuba, at first I pictured myself all healthy and then reality set in. I became very sad. Somedays are easier than other days. Today was not an easy day. Not only did I stop smoking a year ago but over a year ago I also stopped dating.
I decided that I wanted to break the life long habit of having men mistreat me and I think that happens when you are overweight more than when you are in shape. I know some men love women with "junk in the trunk" and that is fine, but, in some cases, men look for women with insecurities so they can control them.
Today, I became sad because about 4 weeks ago I met a very charming friend, he is kind, he is adorable. Unfortunately, by the time, I am in shape, he will be married or in a relationship.....I think I know now why people or at least I looked for quick fixes before. Truth of the matter is, had I changed my lifestyle a few years ago, I would be at my natural healthy weight.
The sad thing, is whenever we reach out for some crazy diet, we harm our metabolism. I must have lost and gained 500 pounds or more in the last ten years, I sure am glad I quit smoking because I hate to think what all that stress is doing to my heart.
So yesterday, when I spoke to my Coach, I became upset. She cares about me and told me that maybe going to a reunion was not a good idea, that there would be no healthy options at the bar...I should have said something, I should have said, I want to have 10 chicken wings and a few drinks....I should have said, that if I go to a movie every 3 months, I think having Popcorn should be okay, with butter.
I am Italian, I think food should be enjoyed in moderation. I am happy she is teaching me healthier eating habits....and I know I should be a food NUN....but DEAR GOD!!! I have given up EVERYTHING I Like to do, except singing......I have gone through 13 "LENTS" I haven't even been to confession lately because I fear I will bore my poor Priest to death!
Do I seem tense? LOL DO I? DO I REALLY????? Well, I am very happy today, much better day than yesterday, I got so mad I went for the longest walk ever!!!!!! and I plan to kick it up to 7000 steps this week.....and It was so nice to see my friend Kathrin tonight and be at the Don Felder concert. What a talent....next house I sell, I am taking Guitar lessons......yep.....I wish everyone I knew would get on Newtopia, even my friends that don't need to lose weight, when I explain more about what it is, you will understand why.
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